


Picking Adult Titles When it is the Absolute Last Thing One Wishes to be Doing

by CatnipInvader



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Squabbling, intended as fluff, no one cares though, not even karkat can make them care, they literally only get to vriska before things go sideways, trying to pick out adult titles, very messy quadrants, went kinda agnst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 12:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21815458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatnipInvader/pseuds/CatnipInvader
Summary: what it says on the tin friendsback from the ashes and its with this fistful of words I greet thee <3
Relationships: Aradia Megido/Dave Strider, Eridan Ampora/Aradia Megido, Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora/Nepeta Leijon, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas, Feferi Peixes ♦️ The universe at large, Feferi Peixies ♠️ The universe at large, Gamzee Makara/Feferi Peixes, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Terezi Pyrope, Gamzee Makara/Vriska Serket, Grand Highblood/Neophyte Redglare, Grand Highblood/Spinneret Mindfang, Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon/Feferi Peixes, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Equius Zahhak, Sollux Captor/Terezi Pyrope, implied with lots of pining:, mentioned in passing:
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Flipping Tides](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17654087) by [Leticheecopae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leticheecopae/pseuds/Leticheecopae). 
  * Inspired by [Flipping Tides](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17654087) by [Leticheecopae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leticheecopae/pseuds/Leticheecopae). 

> Most of the inspiration from Flipping Tides is the idea that both Mindfang and GHB kept journals, and that they wound up red for each other. 
> 
> Alright so skip this if you want to read the piece and figure out who’s where in the quadrant cluster fluff. I just felt I should put it at the beginning for those of you who wanted to know up front.
> 
> Feferi <>/<3< Eridan neither want to admit to this  
Aradia <3< Eridan weird flirting  
Eridan <> Karkat <> Sollux flips red often  
Nepeta ? Eridan they don't really want to put a name on it  
Nepeta <3 Feferi  
Feferi <3< Gamzee  
Gamzee <> Terezi  
Vriska ? Gamzee most likely nothing more than an awkwardly close friendship  
Equius <> Nepeta  
Sollux <3< Equius which somehow doesn't conflict with  
Sollux <3< Terezi  
Gamzee ? Karkat another awkwardly close friendship  
Kanaya <3 Rose  
Karkat <3 Dave  
Sollux <3 Dave  
Eridan ? Dave  
Aradia <> Dave

Feferi had finally managed to get all 12 of her dipshits in one room for more than one toast at a shitty banquet. She was feeling ridiculously pleased with herself.

“Alright guys, can I have your attention for maybe 10 minutes? No, you're still going to have your phones out during this? Cool fine waterever.” she huffs and pulls up the document she had been working on on her tablet.“so as you've all probably been bombarded with, we are supposed to have chosen or been given our adult titles by now, but the administrators are being kind with us because of the fact that ours was not ‘a typical ascension’. So I'm just going to go down the list and if you have a title idea for yourself say if not shrug and I’ll move onto the next of you ridiculous baffoons” she turns slightly to her right “Eridan?”

Not even looking up from his phone he just shrugs.

“Oh but you had wanted to take your ancestors title for so long” Feferi says in a tone thats equal parts bitter,wistful, and sorry.

Still not looking up from his phone and shrugging again eridan continues, “as you know,” in a snippy tone that swiftly changes to something more apathetic, there isn't much need for an Orphaner now that Gl’bgolyb is gone, so whatever you guys think is appropriate I’ll take I dont really care for being in the spotlight anymore.” he types something quickly and both Karkats and Sollux's phones chirp not so inconspicuously.

“Alright fine,” Feferi starts, then makes an uncomfortable face at the admission Eridan had just given “anyone have any ideas for him?”

“Nope” eight voices answer almost simultaneously.

“Aradia, Nepeta?” Feferi asks softly.

Aradia speaks first “Eridan’s title should be indicative of his actions previous to now and going forward. Not based off of Cronus’s actions.” most of the group winces slightly at the casualness of not using an ancestors title.

“And?” someone prods.

“Well, Eridan has been quite the menace to us hasn’t he?” she smirks and the fact that she definitely wanted to say ‘in multiple timelines’ does not go unnoticed by her crew. “But once his head was removed from his ass hes also been quite helpful to us, he’s one of our best strategists and is probably the person most responsible for the lack of need for anyone to hold his ancestors title or occupation.” Aradia smiles across the table at Eridan warmly and wickedly as she very straightforwardly compliments him, he sinks into his chair further than he already was, fins turning a suspicious violet color.

“Aradia darling, that wasn't really what I was asking for.” feferi chirps.

“Are you sure?” Aradia finally going back to being cryptic pulls out her phone, her volume is on, shes playing troll candy crush. Sollux snorts.

Feferi sighs and turns to look at Nepeta “your turn i guess” is all she can say. She really wishes she had a chair, why doesnt she have a chair? She puts in a request for one immediatly.

“Well, Aradia basically said everything I was going to say, I dont have any specific ideas for you Erifin,” Feferi and Eridan both wince, Nepeta continues, “but I know you need something cooler than the strategist or whatever it was you thought Aradia was trying to get at.” it seemed like she was done there, but gets a look like something suddenly dawned on her “also you’re very good at keeping everything organized. Thats important for you to remember. I really wish we all had a bit more time to think about this, but it apurrs we’ve already used up all our grace period.” she nods at that and goes back to doodling on her tablet.

“Well that got us nowhere” Feferi says brightly. “Eridan youve got until the end of the week to figure this out okay? Thats as long as I can stall.” she tries not to let her face soften when she looks at him.

“Understood, my empress.” he says curtly. Her shoulders crumple an almost imperceptible amount.

“Gamzee?” a moment passes she repeats louder “Gamzee.”

“Oh” basically whispered at his hands in his lap he begins “well, I’ve been under the assumption…” he stops realizing that he was so quiet its unlikely even Eridan and Equius had heard him. He clears his throat and moves both his gaze and his hands from his lap to table right in front of him. “Pretty sure my brothers at the church, will up and be expecting me to be the next GH so I guess just put me down for that.” 

Terezi is the next to speak “Gamzee what the fuck. Did you not hear what just said to Eridan? You dont have to live in his shadow.”

“I know that palesis, but like aren't I already? We share the same quadrant as they did. Theres no way you cant be knowing that. I know how much you like snooping up and in my shelves.”

“Wait” Vriska's slightly alarmed tone and expression catch most of the crew off guard “you have Kurloz’s journals.” not a question, probably should have been though.

“Yeah what abo- oh. Hah sorry to have kept that from ya spidersis, didnt mean to.” gamzee shrugs and looks back to the table as soon as he realizes he had looked up from it.

“Oh sweet mericful whoever the fuck now I’m just going to sound ridiculous to you when its my turn.”

“You always sound ridiculous to me sis” 

“Gamzee? Would you like to take some time with choosing as well?” Feferi asks wanitng very much to just squish his dumb face to her chest when he looks that defeated.

“Sure, end of the week yeah?”

“Yep” Feferi sighs, she can’t tell which of his quads his going to need the day with, but it is most likely not his spade. She is going to think of the most sickeningly black gesture for him later.

“Equius, your turn.”

“The Engineer or inventor or something. I definitely do not wish to take either of Horuss’ titles.” even he cringes slightly at saying his ancestors hatch name, far too familiar, with someone hes supposed to have never met.

“I think Engineer works for him FF, considering.” Sollux actually bothers to look up from his phone for that comment.

“Is that good with you Equius?” Feferi asks, trying desperately to actually make this only take ten minutes.

“Yeah, close enough to his to keep with familial tradition but far enough away that hopefully no outside of this room will pick it up.

“Alright. Vriska.”

“Dreamweaver”

“Oh thats why you up and thought I’d think you sounded stupid. You want to use his pet name for her as your title.”

“Yes.” Vriska looks only a little hurt by Gamzee's comment “what of it.”

“I wasn't thinking you'd be sentimental like that.”

“I’ve always been ridiculously sentimental like that gamzee and you fucking know it.” she sighs heavily, and looks around the table “ my ‘sentimentality’ has caused a fair bit of damage to our crew, I genuinely regret that. I wish I had found the last of her journals sooner. So many things came into perspective with them.” 

“Is this something we need to up and talk about later spidersis?”

“I think it is Gamzee.”

“You aint vying for my red right?”

“Nah, I'm starting to think I should be calling you bro in all actuality.” she pauses as the realization of what she just said outloud hits her “fuck” and practically melts into her chair, cerulean from her hairline to shirt collar.

“Oh” gamzee says quietly looking at vriska “and here I was up and thinking you and kanaya were the siblings of your lil crew.”

“Our crew is not particularly small Gamzee,” Eridan quips from behind his phone.

“Oh hush fishbro we all know you love the group hugs the most”

“Gamzee,” karkat starts the bridge of his nose already pinched between his fingers. “By all accounts we are all equally related to each other, making any of us being in either concupiscent quadrant with any of the rest of mind searingly questionable but here we are boinking each other willy nilly like we aren't all very aware of that fact.”

“Hey you dont gotta be like like Kar, some of us are pretending that never happened.”

“Why. Why are we pretending that never happened? Because we aren't ever going to find the rest of us ever again? Because we want to pretend like we never killed each other repeatedly?” Karkat is suddenly in Eridan's lap and Sollux is walking behind Feferi to get to his chair.

“Cant we just make it through one meeting before I have to pap the both of you stupid fucks? Or are just not ready to play nice in front of everybody else?”

“Sollux when did you become the voice of reason here?” Terezi cackles from her side of the table.

“I’ve always been the voice of reason, you just never wanted to accept it.”

Gamzee reaches his hand over and plops it right between Karkat’s horns. “Dont worry best friend we'll find him soon, right fishsis?” he smiles brightly but with too many teeth at Feferi.

“I’m doing my best, I’ve located thier solar system, I just dont know which version of earth we are going to find when we get there, I can only assume its the one we originally contacted, hopefully due to the fact that our lusii were restored to us that means we find all of our friends. Even if some of them are much older than we anticipate.”

“What do you mean by that” Kanaya says slowly.

“What she means is that Roxy, Dirk, Jane and Jake were all the lu-parents of Rose, Dave, John and Jade. And therefore much older than when we actually met them in game. Or we could be stumbling into the post apocalyptic version where the roles were flipped… and we may be missing four from our crew in that case.” Sollux starts rather snippily and slowly gets softer and quieter as the true horror of that idea sinks into everyone around the table.

Aradia slaps her phone into the table and stands abruptly. “I need to check something in my quarters. Right. Now.” and leaves with her phone sitting on the table searingly bright red text with no capitalization or punctuation filling the screen with new messages to slowly hide maroon, or perhaps it just is just wishful thinking and a trick of everyone's eyes as her screen times out.

“Well I guess our meetings over then, before you go two things,” she looks to Vriska “you’re certain thats what you want?”

Vriska nods sharply, this is something she made her mind up about as soon as she had read it in Arenea’s journals.

“Alright.” Feferi pauses and shifts to address the rest of her crew that was still present. “we either need to have another meeting before the week is out to sort this shit or you just need to message me about it so I can get this damn mess submitted and over with.” 

Feferi deflates and flops against the podium at the head of the table, no really why doesnt she get a chair, and watches as her crew rushes out. 

This is going to be thier most miserable mission isn't?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plans are attempted to be made, private meetings are crashed, and overly large feelings jams are had.

“Time, Space,Doom. Private meeting. Room 17. Life out.” Feferi calls over the intercom.

In less then five minutes, an impeccable response time for them really, the members of her crew that she had called for were sitting in the smallest of the meeting rooms, looking almost as agitated as she was.

“Hi guys okay so, HIC didnt recognize us and other than Signless having those dream memories there’s no indication of them having been from the game.” She takes a deep breath and clenches and unclenches her hands, “If Meenah-Beforeus Meenah- and her crew made it out of the game, that means they went back to thier universe timeline doesnt it? Which then means no matter which version of earth we find that we’ll still be missing four.. On top of the twelve we weren’t even sure about.” Her voice and hands are shaking as she admits this to Aradia, Sollux and Kanaya.

“I’ve been in intermittent contact with Dave, by exploiting time, sorry I dont think I can spin it enough to get us all. It- it appears that it is the original earth we contacted at game start.” Aradia’s expression looks like shes either about to cry or kill everyone on the ship, she cant stop twisting her hands around each other. “ according to Dave, Dirk and the other three from his timeline have no recollection of the game. So yes, we will be missing sixteen of us.”

“I promised all of you everyone would be here. To what extent can you three access your powers?” Feferi thinks she may have to go find someone to sit on her or she’ll anxious jitter the entire ship apart.

“Feferi, deep breaths, you dont have to be a hardass in front of us, we know how soft you are.” Kanaya says with a patient but tense smile, she puts her arm over Feferi's shoulders and attempts to reel her in for an actual hug.

“That isn't what I asked for…” she doesnt let the hug happen, but the contact is nice.

“I’ve been able to teleport or warp between different parts of the ship, not sure if I could pull something like Jades stunt though,if thats what you were wanting of me” Kanaya answered.

“Because of the fact main me didnt ever reach god tier I’m actually entirely sure what I’m capable of, so other than the voices thing, not super sure.” Sollux admits and reaches over to hold Feferi's arm.

“Small loops, no more than 2 days, and at least half of the timeless space Dave and I have been using to contact each other. Neither Dave nor I seem to be capable of jumping forward however.” Aradia steps forward and catches the other three in a nearly bone crushing hug. “We’ll figure out Feferi, dont worry. We’ll all be together soon enough.”

“I… this probably stupid of me to ask, but, why THE FUCK wasnt I invited to this meeting Feferi?” Karkat stands in the doorway of the meeting room arms crossed, tapping his foot. Hopefully the lack of verbosity is an indicator that he’s not that mad.

“I didnt want to worry you” Feferi says startled her back had been to the door and then Araida had trapped her into a group hug meaning she couldn't turn and look at him so she just tilted her head back until she could look at him, albeit upside down.

“You cant keep a secret Karkat” Aradia states, thinking about releasing the group hug, but realizing the Feferi would probably fall over backwards like a gigantic doofus.

“Blood wasn't a game necessary aspect.” Sollux shrugs as best he can while saying this, the implication of self deprecation.

“If you were invited we would have had to invite the rest of the crew, and there really isn't enough room for them in here.” Kanaya does a better job of shrugging with her statement.

“I was worried the moment you called a meeting usuing aspects Fef, I can fucking too Aradia, come of it shitcicle, Kanaya I, wow, I love you, just wow thank you for having something senseicle to say.” Karkat steps into the room the door shuts behind him. “ so, what are we going to tell the rest of them?” he flops down to sit on the floor looking very much like all the wind was knocked out of his sails.

“I had been hoping that I wouldn't have anything to tell them, I had hoped that I was wrong” Feferi’s voice starts to wobble as she says this.

“I’m going to let go of the hug guys, prepare for not falling on your asses okay.” aradia doesnt let the warning actually process before she lets go. Feferi does infact land on her ass like a doofus. 

“Feferi, that is my lap you’re trying to occupy right now. I already have three fuckers in my red quadrants, honestly I dont have enough energy for a fourth. Hell I doubt id have the energy for you if you were the only one. Crap Fef, you’re shaking like a leaf, hey chill okay.” Feferi's doofus ass landing happened just enough in front of karkat to where when she just let gravity take the rest of her down her head landed in Karkats lap, narrowly avoiding eviscerating him with her horns.

“I empress of all things Feferi peixes hereby declares that no one will ever talk about this ever again, but also, let me die here, krill me now guys, this is the peak of my stupidity.” shes laughing semi hysterically bringing shaking hands up to cover her face as pinkish tears stream down the sides of her face.

“So I think that one of those… fuck what did JD call them, ‘cuddle puddles’?? Is necessary. Come on guys everyone flop on the ground hug FF. why is normal human friendship so soft? Ugh” Sollux unceremoniously dumps his lanky carcass onto the meeting room floor and lays his head on Feferi’s arm. “I will call the rest of them if you dont get down her ladies.”

“Ha. ha. I’m coming jeeze” Aradia sits delicately around Feferi’s knees then sticks her legs out and pulls Feferi’s legs onto her lap.

“And where exactly are they all going to sit if you do?” Kanaya says as she sinks down to mirror Sollux's position on Feferi’s right side.

“Aw aint this cozy” Gamzee drawls from his position leaning lazily against the door jam.

“Gamzee you stupid fuck, how much did you hear?” Karkat tips his head back,good thing his ass is already on the ground, to stare incredibly annoyed at him.

“Nothin’ other then my fishsis is havin a bit of a breakdown an probably needs whatever emotional support she can get.” he smirks like he knows everything.

“Can you stop being so sensical and just come here.” Feferi snaps from her place on the floor, still hiding her face behind her hands.

“I thought I wasn't supposed to be acknowledging your weaknesses.”

“No youre supposed to good me into growing out of them. But alas you cant make me grow out of caring about all of the stupid turds we’ve aquired.”

“True” he shrugs, walks around the five of them, tilts his head in a pluzzed manner and says “sooo, where does my piece fit in this shiny miracle puzzle?”

“We should probably just get off the floor now anyway.” Karkat sighs.

“I dont wanna” Feferi and Sollux whine at exactly the same time.

“Petulant fucking children, the lot of you.” Karkat flops back onto the ground dramatically, he would have knocked his horns on the door if it wasn't automatic.

“Hey thanks for making me a spot, best friend” Gamzee chuckles as he goes to lay his head on Karkats stomach doing his utmost to not awkwardly spoon sollux. “ so should we invite the rest of everybody, and fill em in on the new deets?”

“I had really hoped you hadn't heard that.” Feferi groans.

“Where even were you?” Karkat mutters as he catches a glimpse of olive passby at the next corridor junction.

“Vents.” Gamzee shrugs.

“Of course it was the vents.” the other five complain in various levels of distress.

“How do you even still fit in there you massive beast” sollux says as the first one to recover from the traumatic flashbacks.

“I genuinely think these one where sized for me to be sneaking around in… or someone my size at least.”

“Ooooooh.” Feferi sighs “maybe we should get up guys.” 

“We’ll have to tell them at some point.” Karkat grumbles.

“Do you think we can timeline hop?” Kanaya says as she slides into a sitting position.

“If we have them with us, I think we can try at least.” Aradia gently moves Feferi’s legs from her lap and goes stand, pulling sollux up with her, then turning and offering a hand to Kanaya.

“I miss them so much” Feferi sniffles into her hands. She doesnt actually want to get up.

“I do too” Gamzee says brushing Feferi’s hair from her face and gently taking a hand to try and ease her to sit up at least.

“Mhm, it feels like a blackhole in my chest sometimes, when i turn to say something to one of them and they just aren't there.” Sollux says.

“You’ll keep your promise Feferi. I know you will” Karkat says sitting up at pushing lightly at her shoulders “ I won't let you fail. None of us will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you've gone and looked at the other things I've written/posted youll notice that I am not good at doing things in a timely fashion. I have no real place for this story to go, we might wind up just wallowing in feelings and never actually going anywhere. so, sorry if you wanted something big and fantastic out of the set up of the first chapter.


End file.
